Eccentricity
by Circus4APsycho8
Summary: Grillby & Muffet expand together on the Surface...but the anthropomorphic spider has her quirks. Despite these, the two make a great team! Grillby X Muffet oneshot, platonic to romance-ish. Headcanons were sent to me by Barbacar. "UNDERTALE" by Toby Fox. Some cussing, racism, and inappropriate remarks.


**Heya!**

 **So, I got these headcanons from Barbacar.**

 **Also: I'm taking Latin, not French, so I apologize if any of the French is off ;u;**

 **"UNDERTALE" belongs to Toby Fox.**

Muffet is...weird, to say the least. But it's the good kind of weird.

They became friends over their love for the culinary arts and business. If it hadn't been for that, then Grillby may not have opened his diner. They met...what, a few centuries ago? Give or take a few decades? Time did not matter to the fire elemental; why should it, when he has enough of it as it is? Time brought the two together, after all, and maybe time will be the reason why they, eventually, drive apart. Honestly, there's no telling.

Before the flame elemental met Muffet, he'd been struggling with the adjustment of owning a diner independently. Not that the diner wasn't successful; in fact, Grillby's had probably been the smartest move the flame monster had made in his life. He loved his restaurant dearly, and it was a welcome distraction from the memories of his past mistakes. He liked all of his customers-well, with an exception or two-, but that didn't deter him from his passion.

But adjusting to having a diner? It was hard.

First of all, he had underestimated the amount of expenses he'd be facing. Thankfully, the diner was a success relatively quickly, so he was able to pay it off without too much trouble.

But, he mostly owed it to one monster. Particularly Muffet.

Yeah, she had her quirks. A lot of them, but Grillby admired her, and for more than one reason, too.

The time came when the eighth fallen human visited his restaurant. Grillby and Sans were some of the few monsters who could actually recognize a human when they saw one. Silently, Grillby and Sans had a quiet conversation through body language, eye glances, and gestures. Grillby had never been one to talk, since he was much better at listening.

And on the to-be human ambassador traveled. They defeated King Asgore, broke the Barrier, and freed the entirety of monsterkind. Grillby wasn't sure if he would see the day where the sun would be raining down upon monsters.

But he did.

And then he had to focus on moving out from the Underground, to the Surface, and relocating his diner.

Muffet was in the same boat.

Their conversations were brief, but meaningful. Muffet was one of the few monsters who actually heard the fire elemental speak partial and full sentences.

" _Bonjour, monsieur_! Oh, Grillby dear, it's always nice to see you!" She said. The two were standing on one of her spider webs, except this particular one had been spun so well that it could support much more weight and pressure.

"It's a pleasure to see you too, Muffet. It's been quite a while, hasn't it?"

She nodded eagerly, pulling out one of her trademark cigars. Often, Grillby teasingly called them 'spider stogies', and whenever she heard him say that, she'd just laugh and carry on. Rarely was Muffet seen without a cigar. She lit it, and inhaled, closing all of her eyes while exhaling. The smoke that wafted up out of the tip of it smelled just like the inside of her old bakery, a scent that, Grillby admitted, he missed.

"Things have changed, haven't they?" She sighed, puffing a large billow of smoke out. "Although, I assume it's for the best."

"They have." Grillby sighed along her, folding his hands in his lap. "I was...wondering..."

"Wondering...?" She pressed, crossing her legs, and placing each of her hands on a string of spider silk.

"Would you like to...expand with me? Space on the surface is limited, and I thought that we could maybe...run our stores together. To save space."

She smiles, then says, "Ahuhuhuhuhu. _Ça me plaît_!" Grillby's flames flickered curiously; he was fluent in many languages, but French wasn't one of them. "I like it." She translated, another grin gracing her lips.

"Excellent." Grillby stated.

…

Around four or so years have passed, and now, monsters have the same rights as humans. It'd been a long, hard road for everyone, but they made it.

Still, that didn't mean that monsters were...fully integrated, per se, but it was extremely significant progress for all of monsterkind. What they had accomplished would go down in history for the rest of time, and it was no small feat, to say the least. Muffet and Grillby were pretty much stuck in the midst of research, paperwork, and bills. Unexpectedly, opening a restaurant on the Surface world had been much harder than in the Underground. King Asgore and the President of the United States were trying to work out the remaining issues, which meant it technically wasn't illegal for humans to raise the prices of...well, everything when it came to monsters.

But Muffet and Grillby refused to let that stop them. Come hell and high water, they were going to open together and expand their shop, one way or another.

They chose a location close to where the king, queen, and the others had settled; after all, neither Grillby nor Muffet wanted to lose their old customers. It was a small, cute little opening along a road which panned out into an intersection some half-mile down the road; the intersection lead to a strict, human-only neighborhood, an integrated one, the city, and the other to another integrated neighboring. Their new shop was surrounded by trees, and on one side had a great view of a mountain. Not Ebott, though.

One day, after months of getting everything sorted out, they finally felt as if they were ready to open.

Grillby wished he could say it'd gone perfectly.

It started when a group of college students walked in, their curiosity outweighing their fear. Grillby knew this wouldn't turn out well just from the way the trio had been whispering to each other, occasionally pointing discreetly at one of the monsters minding their own business.

The bartender kept himself cool anyway.

One of the humans approached the bakery counter, glancing at Fuku as she distracted herself with the register, pretending to be cleaning it. Grillby's flames flickered in annoyance as the group walked over to her.

"May I help you?" She asked as politely as she could.

The boy snickered, leaning a little too close to her. Grillby's posture went rigid.

"Are you a mirror? Because I can see myself inside you." And with that, his buddies burst out laughing. Fuku gasped, then backed up to Grillby, who held her by the shoulders and told her to wait in the back. She obeyed without question.

Grillby was already marching over, but Muffet was there first.

" _Excusez moi_?" She asked, placing her hands on her hips. "You're being inappropriate with one of my employees."

The college boy who had hit on Fuku smirked, obviously not intimidated, unlike the other two.

"D-dude, she looks p-pretty pissed off." One of them said.

The flames near Grillby's makeshift mouth twisted into a smirk.

" _Vous avez raison_." She responded.

A few minutes later, and the two other boys ran out, screaming at the top of their lungs while Grillby was desperately trying to keep his composure.

This was another one of Muffet's eccentric habits.

She...had a _tendency_ to swallow people whole. Sometimes she swallowed monsters, but this was the first time Grillby had seen it in person.

It was absolutely hysterical. Grillby's flames were flickering a bright yellow, and his mouth-flames were struggling to hold back a bout of laughter.

She looked completely normal-well, as normal as an anthropomorphic spider woman could look to a human. He probably was sent to one of Muffet's spider webs she used specifically for scaring off bad people.

How she got him to go there?

 _Muffet magic._

Grillby lost it when she came over and asked him what was wrong, barks of his laughter echoing off the walls of the restaurant.

She winked three of her six eyes at him. "I'll spit him out eventually, don't you worry your pretty little flames. Now, go check on that darling daughter of yours."

...

Another year had gone by, with increasing, positive progress between monster and human relations.

Both of them wanted to celebrate, so they did. She invited him over to her chateau.

A huge, unnecessarily large manor with classic, gothic French architecture: a rolling, sharp-pointed roof painted a dark burgundy, dark, grey painted walls that rose up to meet the roof, and dark, stained glass the only windows.

It was definitely her style, Grillby thought. Even though it was just her, her spiders, and her pet, whom he had jokingly named Gâteau. Muffet still needed a lot of space for her network of webs.

He knocked on the door precariously, carrying a bottle of Merlot, a wine he has yet to try. The door creaked open a few minutes later.

She looked a little different.

Her long, spider-silky, black hair wasn't up in its usual ponytails; instead, it had been released from its hair tie, a long curtain of black surrounded the spider woman's thin frame. Her dark, periwinkle-colored eyes staring back at him. Dressed in a cute, red romper that beautifully contrasted against her lavender-colored skin, her red lips curled into a smile that slightly revealed her sharp fangs.

She looked a lot more...gentle. Younger. Relaxed.

" _Bonjour, monsieur_!" She addressed him, stepping aside to let him in.

…

"...You what?" He asked, just to clarify.

He should've known a tour around her house would've been strange.

But this?

...He's probably better off not questioning it, if he's being honest here.

"I use it for traveling long distances. It's quite convenient, actually. I'd let you try it, but I doubt wind and fire mix very well."

He chuckled, his flames flickering and lighting up the balcony which they were standing on, glasses of Merlot in their hands and a large, purple, Muffet-style cannon in front of them.

He really shouldn't be surprised.

"...You must fire unfortunate people out of it, too, knowing you."

She chuckled, "Ahuhuhuhuhuhu. You know me too well, Grillby _cher_."

He laughed. "I suppose so. But...where do they land when you fire them out of this?"

She winks at him again, taking another sip of her wine. "Hopefully they land somewhere."

Chuckling again, he sets his glass down on the railing, looking at the moon and the stars scattered across the night sky. If Grillby looked closely, he could see them reflected in her eyes as she gazed up at the twinkling lights.

"It's great to be living on the Surface, don't you think? I love running our shop together."

He nodded in agreement, glancing down at his own glass and swishing the liquid around.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Grillby replied.

She smiled one of her genuine ones. He smiled, too, as she came in for a hug. He welcomed her, circling his arms around him.

" _Je t'aime_." He whispered, hoping to the stars he had pronounced it correctly.

She froze for a second, then started giggling.

"...I said it wrong, didn't I?" He concluded, feeling her nod.

"Don't worry, _amour_." She responded. " _Je t'aime aussi_."

 **Here are the headcanons Barbacar sent me:**

Muffet is almost never seen without a huge, tremendously fat purple cigar in her mouth, made from spiders and webbing. The smoke from it is purple and smells like a bakery. It's sometimes referred to as a spider stogie, and it's considered a rare occasion when it's not in her mouth

Muffet often swallows people whole, intentionally or accidentally. she spits them out eventually, though.

When Muffet's silky black hair isn't tied up in pigtails, it's long enough to reach her waist.

Muffet lives on a large manor on the surface

Muffet owns a large purple cannon that she fires herself out of to travel long distances. She also often fires other people, whether they like it or not.

Muffet often inserts French words when she talks, such as moi and bon voyage, because it makes her sound even classier.

 **Thank you for reading!**


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